For once, I feel happy to be me, to have my body.
I’m a 26 year old mother of two. My kids and my family are my life. I work full time in a stressful position with an industrial service company. Coming home to my family is my unwind. A nice dinner and a glass of wine can go a long way in providing sanity for my soul. :)
I have always wanted to do a boudior shoot. I’ve always wanted to see myself as sexy, who doesn’t right? I’ve toyed with the idea of it for a long time, always pushing it off because I am heavier than I wanted to be, or my stretch marks are too noticeable still,
but I realized,
the likelihood of me ever being to the point where I think I look “good enough” to do a boudior shoot, would probably never come to fruition.
I intend to have another child, and I’m sure with that, gain additional weight and stretch marks, so why wait any longer? Carpe Diem, and today is the best day! Tomorrow I might look back wishing I had done it yesterday.
I want to have proof that I am sexy, and one day, when my grandchildren tell me I’m old, I’ll have something to show that I was once a sexy young spitfire woman too.
And on the plus side, my husband now gets something to look at when I’m not present!
Leading up to my session I was nervous, of course. I tend to be my own worst critic. In all aspects of my life, I strive for perfection, but my body image is not something I’ve ever seen as perfect. I was anxious to be as beautiful looking, and feeling, as all the women Molly has captured’s essence before
I wasn’t sure what to expect, this isn’t something I’d ever done before, and honestly I tend to dislike the way I look in any picture I’m in. Unhealthy I know, but honest. I was excited for Molly to capture me in a way that I’d never been able to see myself before.
I think my excitement was most fueled by seeing the work Molly has done with her past clientele. The nervousness was fueled by myself doubt.
During makeup and hair I became comfortable with Molly and Kristen quickly. I felt like I connected so quickly with them and that I was with a group of friends instead of strangers I’d never met before. We a lot of laughs, to the point where I had to try not to smile my entire session!
During the actual photo shoot I was calm. I think the first moment I was nervous, but right away Molly put it at ease. She wasn’t a stranger, she was a friend. I didn’t look horrible, Molly told me I was beautiful. That I was killing it already! I had nothing to be nervous about. She knew how to make me look my absolute best, and what to do to achieve that sexy look I desired!
The moment that stuck out to me the most was when I realized I was absolutely comfortable with Molly already. I’m next to naked but I don’t feel the need to try and rearrange my body to cover the pieces of me that aren’t perfect.
Letting go of that feeling of being nervous and Potentially judged was freeing.
Molly made me feel perfect. I could be sexy, I wasn’t just this married mother of two. While I was there, I was a goddess, I was a model, I was a sexy woman and I wasn’t afraid to believe it.
The most unexpected emotion I felt during my session was confidence. Confidence in my body, in my soul, in just being me. After I broke out of my nervous shell, I think I was more confident then I have been in years.
I felt anxious after my session. I’m a perfectionist, and I overthink. Part of me was busting at the seams with excitement to see how everything turned out, but part of me was also nervous I wasn’t going to look anything as beautiful as Molly’s other clients. It was a mixture of emotions. But when I got to see the unedited pictures in the next day, I was shocked and relieved and excited all again.
They were fabulous. I was fabulous. Molly was amazing, I couldn’t believe she was able to make me love myself so much in a picture, let alone almost 100 of them!
I think in the last few days since doing my shoot and seeing the results, I’ve been more confident, almost cocky!
It’s something I needed desperately, because I judge myself far harder than anyone else, and it is like seeing in high definition for the first time, looking at myself and seeing only beauty.
Feeling only beautiful. For once, I feel happy to be me, to have my body.
Don’t wait. There will never be a “perfect” time. You may wish you’d done it yesterday, a year ago, a decade ago. But if you do it now, you will have something beautiful. And even if you decide you still want to better yourself, you can always do it again. It’s such a self confidence booster, no one says you can’t do it multiple times!
I think I’ve said it all, other than that I couldn’t believe how good Molly could make me feel about myself.
It is truly amazing.
